My friend Elizabeth is doing an internship at the Ottawa Citizen. She is a very talented writer and I am looking forward to the influx of work I’m hoping to see from her.
This morning I got a message on my facebook wall with a link to her first story. I opened the link with great excitement and discovered that Elizabeth had stumbled into the strangest beat in journalism.
Elizabeth is writing Elaborate Obituaries.
Now, after I did a little digging I found she is also writing legit (and excellent) pieces, but by that point it was too late, I had already plotted out the rest of Elizabeth’s days as an obituary writer – maybe the worlds best. People seeking her out around the world, looking for just the right words to sum up a life lived by a loved one she had never met.
This sounded dreadful to me…until I remembered how much fun it is to write Obits and Memoriams.
In my second year of university I had the opportunity to conduct a funeral service for Cedric MacDonald II.
Cedric was beautiful
Cedric was majestic
…
Cedric was a lobster
He touched all our hearts with his little pinchers.
When Cedric died, I immediately began writing my thoughts on his life; the love he showed the house, the excitement in his eyes, the fire in his belly. He was a respected member of the MacDonald house community and I would be damned if I didn’t send him off with what he deserved.
That evening, we gathered on the front lawn. With Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O’Connor echoing in the background, I delivered my last respects to Cedric – and deep down, I felt good. I knew that Cedric would be happy with my words and that he’d be watching over me.
Shortly after a seagull swooped in, picked Cedric up and took him to what, I assume, was lobster heaven.
My point is, maybe writing the obits and memoriams isn’t so bad!
Hell, it’s like Elizabeth said, “As long as people keep dying, I might never come home!”
…Here’s hoping the Rideau Canal flows from the Fountain of Youth.
(Note: This is all just an elaborate way of saying “Good Luck,” “I’m so stoked your work is being published,” “Come Home,” and “I’m a bit of a snarky ass hole, but that’s what makes me likable”)
Filed under: Books, Reviews | Tags: Downtown Owl, Klosterman, Review, Truro
Filed under: Attack of the Killer B-Sides, Features, Music | Tags: Attack of the Killer B-Sides, Music, The Hold Steady
Attack of the Killer B Sides is a semi-regular column here at History Happens At Night where we celebrate the over looked, forgotten, sound tracked throw away gems that really could have been somebody.
We kick off the very first Attack of the Killer B Sides here at History Happens At Night with a great “Australian Bonus Track” and “Sound Track Gem.”
The Hold Steady – Girls Like Status
This song first appeared on the soundtrack to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie and then showed up on the Australian Release of Boys and Girls in America. This song is classic Hold Steady (but since every song they write deals with the same subjects, I guess they’re all classic Hold Steady) and is tragically absent from all their major North American releases.
Harmonica – check
Riffy guitar – check
Craig Finn comparing the noises a chick makes while faking an orgasim to the “The Locust” – ch…wait, what?
Oh baby, you sound so sweet when you arch your back and put on your locust outfit
I Love You, The Hold Steady, and I’m glad you were able to be a part of Attack Of The Killer B Sides. I’m sure I’ll see you again around here soon (Ask Her For Adderall, Two Handed Handshake).
